2008 promises not to disappoint from a mockability standpoint, although the opening ceremony was a little too classy for my taste.
But really, what opening ceremony can ever compete with the powerfully regal display from the Atlanta games, especially the “Traditions of the South” portion of the show. Remember the cheerleaders-in-the-back-of-pickup-trucks routine? What a great opportunity to show the world all that which makes our country great, like, underage floozies getting knocked up by rural meatheads in gas-guzzling 4x4s.
I know I had goose bumps.
Anyway, I’ve only been watching for about an hour, but I’ve already heard all of these old Olympic standbys:
“Tonight’s gold metal spotlight – brought to you by CHEVY!”
“Not at the Olympics.”
“You just don’t DO that at the Olympics!”
“He just needs to get through it cleanly.”
And my favorite so far: “You just don’t take steps on your pommel horse dismount.”
We’ll try to post some of our favorite 2008 Olympic highlights.
In the meantime, if you’re having a hard time discerning the US athletes, check the hair. On men, if you see spikes in the font and much hair gel, it’s likely he’s a part of team USA. On women, look for chunky blond highlights.