11.16.2007

Family Movie Review: The Ring


If you’re like us, you see PG-13 and think “Eh, 11 years old -- close enough.”

Usually true.

However, do not, I repeat, do not -- despite the innocuous PG-13 MPAA rating and pleadings from your child that, “Mom, the last Harry Potter movie was PG-13” -- show “The Ring” to an 11-year-old at 9:30 on a Friday night.

Here’s a synopsis. Nostalgic VHS format turns anthropomorphic – TO KILL YOU. Goth/emo type girl comes out of the television – TO KILL YOU. Loving parents go nuts and decide -- TO KILL YOU.

This is an 11-year-old boy’s worst nightmare. And make no doubt about it. This is one scary fucking movie -- and I’m not just talking about the acting or gaping holes in the plot (hardy-har-har).

So, if you need to stay awake some night to finish making clothespin reindeer for holiday gifts, re-grout the tub or crank out that work project you procrastinated on, by all means show “The Ring” to your 11 year old at bedtime. He’ll keep you company if you can just ignore the whimpering and shaking.

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