Toy Review: Harry Potter Electronic Wand

You’re probably thinking, “Hey, there’s been a lot of hoopla about this Harry Potter thing and the holidays ARE fast approaching – maybe I’ll get my kid this neato Harry Potter wand!”

That would be one of the biggest mistakes you’ve ever made in your entire life.

We’ve owned this product for five years. None of us has any fucking idea how it works and even less how you play the “game.” And this is after thoroughly deconstructing the printed directions, calling the manufacturer, consulting web sites and just dicking around with it for an ungodly period of time.

Mostly what happens is, when you turn the wand on, some of the buttons light up and the wand starts screaming “Wingardium” over and over again. Push a button, wave it around, and pretty much the same: “Wingardium! Wingardium!”

Every so often it terrifyingly threatens: “You win – THIS TIME!”

What? What did I just win? And how? This time? What’s going to happen next time? Who are you?

We also couldn’t figure out how to turn it off. We would think it was off, then it would randomly come to life, screaming “Wingardium!” and scaring the holy bejebus out of whichever child was unfortunate enough to leave it in his room.

So, in summary: Randomly blinking lights. “Wingardium!” “You win – THIS TIME!” Disembodied voices. No fucking idea how to play or, more importantly, how to turn it off.

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