11.18.2007

Foodstuffs Review: Trader Joe’s Korean Style Marinated Short Ribs.

I’m embarrassed to admit we bought these twice. I honestly thought I got a bum package the first time we made them, so like a total douche I went back for a second helping of pain.

1) These ribs contain an approximate 1:3 ratio of meat to fat, gristle and bone. And that’s on a good chunk.

2) The ribs are so whisper thin the merest kiss of heat renders the meat well-done-to-burnt. With the possible exception of official Olympic Games stopwatches, there is no timer setting short enough to prevent this meat from overcooking. The packaging suggests grilling to be the optimal cooking method, however, I would postulate that placing these slender ribs over an open fire would render them to charcoal.

3) They are pricey -- $7.99 for a pound -- and remember, three-quarters of that pound is fat, gristle and bone. I guess this would be a better deal if you had a dog, pig or secret, deformed child you fed only fat, gristle and bone.

4) When you can find it, and extract it from the fat, gristle and bone, the meat itself is strangely delicious (how could it not be, so completely laced with beef fat) but like some punishment hatched in the bowels of Hades itself, the more you want, the less there is to be had. You think Tantalus got a bum deal, try watching three hungry carnivores sit down to a plate of these short ribs.

5) The ribs are cut “against the grain”, which means you see a cross-section of the bones. I don’t like to look at that much marrow while I’m eating. Just me.

So in conclusion, if you’re into burnt stuff, fat, gristle, bone, marrow and unfulfilled desire, indulge your tastes in Trader Joe’s Korean Style Marinated Short Ribs.

7 comments:

Joe T said...

Short Ribs are suppose to be thin. Stupid. And you cooked them to be burnt. Idiot. The fat is around the bone which there is not a lot of. Either A) you hate meat or B) God made you with a bad sense of judgment.

jason said...

i agree with the comment above. these are great short ribs. cook on the highest part of your grill (open lid) for 2 mins each side and they are perfect. fat and all!

to quote the guy above....learn to cook before you post these comment....stupid!

Anonymous said...

Yep...in an attempt to sound smart...you failed miserably. Please learn how to cook before commenting because you look like a jack ass right now.

Sara said...

Obviously, Anne has no idea what the hell she's talking about. She's obviously too dumb to follow instructions. Placing a piece of meat on the grill does not mean you should leave it on there for 10 hours while practicing your hooked on phonics. Follow instructions and use a timer, dummy.

Word to the wise - the package has pictures. If you don't like to look at marrow while eating a delicious piece of meat, don't buy it, stupid.

What does a deformed child have to do with this? Your stupidity is not remotely amusing.

Steve said...

You have to make sure that you cook it on medium high. I typically cook it on medium because I like to slowly cook my meat. Also it's spare ribs... so I'll have to agree with everyone else that you were premature to judge the meat so quickly. It's like getting mad at a restaurant because the filet mignon seems like a small portion (Bad example). But nonetheless the fat around the bone of spare ribs is what makes the meat so tender and juicy. It's a great perfect ratio. Sometime their is a lot of fat (agreed), but it's a rare occasion.

But I agree with everyone else that you were premature to not know anything about the meat, hah! And 7.99 is actually a steal. It's like you're complaining that lobster cost a lot more than other seafood. You have to understand meats, and also understand this is pre-marinated. And actually pre-marinated absolutely greatly.

I honestly vote this a 10/10.
7.99 is a steal, the meat taste great, and you'll be left happy with a great meal... if you cook it right! =)

Anonymous said...

I'm Korean and these short ribs are the bomb! I lived in Korea for 4 months (volunteering), and I can honestly say for store bought, these are the closest to authentic you can get. $7.99 is a steal, because in a Korean restaurant you won't pay less than $12 or $13 for the same amount of meat. I think that Anne chick should stick to critiquing things she knows - mac & cheese and hot dogs perhaps?

Anonymous said...

I used to eat korean short ribs round the clock with a dash of soy sauce in Korea Way a little side street in NYC
with endless sushi tables and bulgogki. the flavor is so intense i recently found these at trader joes and slowly cooked, the flavor is awesome you want to eat the bones!!!
soooo yummy yummy they are always sold out!